Killing him softly...
Oh troubled mind, let me be at peace!
How can it be possible that when someone has a sudden liking/ obsession with you, it’s your fault?
Beats me. But I certainly do think in this case (that is not so special as this is the second occurrence), it is probably most definitely my responsibility.
It’s like the World Wars somehow, inevitably linked just because they were both equally terrible. As if the first one was the prerequisite for the second.
Or like how when someone says your sister’s a slut, and you feel like you’ve just been insulted too (not that it has really been said).
Ah! The incomprehensible phenomenon of linkages.
Where was I? Oh yea.
A certain friend whom I’ve been close to, yet distant with (what a contradiction ay?) likes me and I’ve been avoiding him like the plague.
No phone calls answered. No messages replied. No eye contact.
And somehow this has placed me in a position of unexplainable guilt.
I trulymadlydeeply (yes, like the song) feel bad about having to be such a bitch about it. I felt so wicked in fact that my usually peaceful slumber last night was haunted by a black and white silent movie of how he went psycho and tried to clobber me to death.
Traumatizing. Really.
How do you break it gently to someone? How do you convey the 'its not you, it's me' speech without sounding like a prat?
And at the back of my head, a song is playing…
How can it be possible that when someone has a sudden liking/ obsession with you, it’s your fault?
Beats me. But I certainly do think in this case (that is not so special as this is the second occurrence), it is probably most definitely my responsibility.
It’s like the World Wars somehow, inevitably linked just because they were both equally terrible. As if the first one was the prerequisite for the second.
Or like how when someone says your sister’s a slut, and you feel like you’ve just been insulted too (not that it has really been said).
Ah! The incomprehensible phenomenon of linkages.
Where was I? Oh yea.
A certain friend whom I’ve been close to, yet distant with (what a contradiction ay?) likes me and I’ve been avoiding him like the plague.
No phone calls answered. No messages replied. No eye contact.
And somehow this has placed me in a position of unexplainable guilt.
I trulymadlydeeply (yes, like the song) feel bad about having to be such a bitch about it. I felt so wicked in fact that my usually peaceful slumber last night was haunted by a black and white silent movie of how he went psycho and tried to clobber me to death.
Traumatizing. Really.
How do you break it gently to someone? How do you convey the 'its not you, it's me' speech without sounding like a prat?
And at the back of my head, a song is playing…
"Strumming my pain with her fingers...killing me softly with her song...killling me softly...with her song..."
posted by Keem at 10:22 AM
:
And how is it your fault, miss?
He's the one with the misplaced affection.
You should be pissed off.
Slap him upside the head and go "oi! you made my life complicated, you asshat"
sigh. that has always been the question, hasn't it? i guess avoiding him isn't going to do any good. i know that's just a natural reaction (been there, done that) but i guess sometimes u just have to come clean. u don't want to lead him on and give him false hopes but then again don't want to sound like a total bitch. i guess you really ought to tell him that as much as you like him as a friend, u can't see where this is all going. it's better to be honest, i reckon. but i know that it is easier said than done.
ALTERNATIVE: continue giving him subtle hints that you're 'not so interested' and you're 'not that into him'.
oh gosh, i just typed roin! lol. it's me, ROM. *slaps forehead*
rhymes with groin. jokin. =P
I reckon he won't accept it, sometimes u have to be harsh or semi-harsh to get the message across and for him to know that you're dead serious.
Judging from current situation, the best thing is to avoid..but that makes everything awkward.
You can thank me for my useless advice now.
hehe
hrmm....i remember being in this situation years ago, and the worst case scenario of me letting the other party down (altho not gently), was threatening him that if he don stop liking me, we cant even be friends anymore! felt kinda bad after that....but i was young, i didn't know better :P
Anyways, i think the best way to let someone down is....erm maybe tell them that you dont see it working in the long run, so to avoid the hurts/dissapointments...better not to start anything, but just b friends? *i hope i don sound too frank*....but yeah, that's the best i guess? :p
HAHAHA...that silly Rom, I saw 'roin'and thought..that can't be him ..can it...then i read the next comment..hahahaha.
Back to the post, well it depends, is he "getting" the hints you are exuding, hints of "OI sooo don't goo there!".
If he doesn't, AND he's a decent friend...I think the way it goes is.. that they will then work themselves up to a point where they will TELL YOU and then, you HAVE to do the speech you wished you didn't.
So for now avoiding is a good idea but I'm a classic chicken, I RUN!!!!!!
OH AND it's so NOT YOUR FAULT!
it's not your fault but it's not so nice to avoid him like that. he is, after all, crushes aside, your mate.
you should break it to him in an email saying that you're comfortable being friends and not looking or SOME EXCUSE! or do what i was once told to say: "i've prayed about it and God has told me no. it doesn't feel right within my spirit to be with you"
haha. the translation is "you really creep me out and that's why i don't feel right within myself" but hey, who's going into semantics?
1. restraining order
2. brutal honesty - it's YOU, not me :)
3. Big stick with a nail in it.
4. Creatively employed scissors.
ok.. from thy insights, i have gathered:
1. not my fault (i knew tht, just wanted confirmation, hehe)
2. hint subtly (did, didn't work)
3. avoid (tried to, see 2.)
4. tell him (will do..when i get the guts to =P)
and alli..tht has got to be the best translation ever! eheh.
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