All My Christmases Weren't White

Every year, I lose Christmas on purpose.

As a typical little girl, I loved dolls and used to wish for a ballerina Barbie for Christmas. My family wasn't as well off so I never got one. But mom did the best she could, and bought me and my sister each a Cindy doll instead, and sew us clothes for her from odd pieces of cloth.

When I grew up into my teens, Christmas became more expensive for me as I lamented the fact that I now had a pocket money and should buy everyone presents. But as my sister was much younger and didn't have pocket money - that meant one extra present to buy, one less present in return.

After years of celebrating it, Christmas was a burden instead of a celebration. All the money I had to spend, and all the money I didn't have to spend.

And then I left for college.

That College Christmas of 2001 was spent at a street party in KL. I hated it. I remember standing in the midst of thousands of people I didn't know who were hugging and kissing each other.

I remember thinking in disgust, "Gah! They don't know the real meaning. They don't celebrate it with family."

I also scoffed at White Christmas and Jingle Bells.

(Excuseee meee. We're in bloody tropical Malaysia! What's so Christmassy about THAT?!)

I got hot and bothered about capitalism, and how Christmas is just a ploy to SELL SELL SELL!

.
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And then I decided to ignore myself (read 'my own well being') in this entire business of celebrating Christmas.

And that, is precisely when Christmas began.

~*o**oOo**o*~

A very Merry Christmas to all of you
who have always been supportive of my incoherant rants.

A special thank you to those of you from in here
(Alli, LC, Rom, Lily, Merv)
who've been my crutch over the past year.
It has been tough - never could've done it without you.

To old friends:

Mike, The Nigger Brother I Never Had: Thank you for always 'getting my back'. Thanks for being so fatherly (all those times I got depressed *rolls eyes*) and motherly (I must owe you like dozens of meals now). Thanks for all the good music.

And to Spencer his sidekick for : thanks for enthusiastically encouraging me to quit my job. Hehe.

Emily, My Encyclopedia: Thanks - For the books and Rocky (I don't think I'll ever get over these ^_^). For treating me like a pet and always looking out for feather-brained me. Thanks for being my brain when mine's cloudy (that's like 90% of the time).

And to Lisa her sidekick for : the sound head and being anal about the tidiness of everything except her thumb drive. And also for morphing into us - but girl, you gotta get your own pretty colour and bug okay?

Kenny, The Chai: For enunciating your words so perfectly, for those horribly lame jokes that you tell, and the random sms-es that you send.