Now You See Logic, Now You Don’t!
I have always treated emotions with as much brainwork as possible, although both are intrinsically contradictory.
The heart is an often misleading thing, causing one to do reckless, stupid things. And we must therefore never (almost never, anyway) listen to it.
I’ve always believed that matters of the heart – whether you’re sad, worried or depressed (I list only the bad ones cause they’re the only ones we try to ‘get over’) can be overcomed and solved as long as we put our mind to it. As long as we try.
But I’ve tried. And I owe a huge apology to those whom I’ve always given advice to in a very matter-of-fact way.
There’s nothing straightforward, nothing easy about controlling emotions at all.
You retain some form of self-control, yes, but only to carry you as far as to not burst out crying in the middle of the office.
But other than that, it gnaws at you every minute you’re aware of it, and you can’t pretend that you’re not (aware of it), because of the vivid imagery that plays itself over and over. One that you don’t want to watch and cover your eyes with your hands with, but still peek in between your fingers because it gives you a certain sense of euphoria.
Sometimes control is within grasp because the thing is insignificant enough; and logic wins over.
Some other times, logic says that it’s logical to be sad. Because you are.
And that’s when you let yourself say that you’re not okay. That you can’t take it. That you feel like giving up.
But like all things, nothing is permanent. Not blue sunny skies, nor stormy thundering ones.
And after you’ve allowed yourself to be logically sad, you pick yourself up and you make the logical conclusion that you’ve lived through one day, and you will live through another.
And with that you are able to summon up the courage to smile a little, and to lie and say that you’re okay again.
The heart is an often misleading thing, causing one to do reckless, stupid things. And we must therefore never (almost never, anyway) listen to it.
I’ve always believed that matters of the heart – whether you’re sad, worried or depressed (I list only the bad ones cause they’re the only ones we try to ‘get over’) can be overcomed and solved as long as we put our mind to it. As long as we try.
But I’ve tried. And I owe a huge apology to those whom I’ve always given advice to in a very matter-of-fact way.
There’s nothing straightforward, nothing easy about controlling emotions at all.
You retain some form of self-control, yes, but only to carry you as far as to not burst out crying in the middle of the office.
But other than that, it gnaws at you every minute you’re aware of it, and you can’t pretend that you’re not (aware of it), because of the vivid imagery that plays itself over and over. One that you don’t want to watch and cover your eyes with your hands with, but still peek in between your fingers because it gives you a certain sense of euphoria.
Sometimes control is within grasp because the thing is insignificant enough; and logic wins over.
Some other times, logic says that it’s logical to be sad. Because you are.
And that’s when you let yourself say that you’re not okay. That you can’t take it. That you feel like giving up.
But like all things, nothing is permanent. Not blue sunny skies, nor stormy thundering ones.
And after you’ve allowed yourself to be logically sad, you pick yourself up and you make the logical conclusion that you’ve lived through one day, and you will live through another.
And with that you are able to summon up the courage to smile a little, and to lie and say that you’re okay again.
posted by Keem at 8:44 AM
:
*sigh* i know.
i never could rationalise or put logic to my emotions because they're never, ever logical. i can never understand why i feel like this, or react like that. it just happens.
when i start thinking back, and start rationalising, i hate myself for how i reacted and then logic tells me that i'm over-reacting.
but still, some part of me struggles to defend my emotions, telling me "it's OK to feel like that".
when i'm not sure what is what anymore, somehow, i normally try to find a way to vent. i know it's not going to solve the problem, but i'm really not one to sit down, and try to CONVINCE myself that everything is ok, because i know they're not. i never could find a way to PERSUADE myself to snap out of it, and so i go do something stupid that i know i'll regret later. :P <-- not good.
ppl always say that we must try and channel our sadness into something productive. is that denial? i dono. but it's sure worth a try.
haaha! i somehow imagined your 'not good' said with a =_= expression.
i suppose denial helps us get through another day, as long as we come out of it eventually.
but how to be productive lah? the frustration's so maddening that i feel like doing something self-destructive in hope tht tht'll make it go away for a while. but i don't do anything, cause i'm a chicken.
go shark swimming again! this time, make sure you don't jump in with a cut in your leg. :P
you miss me.
you miss me don't you?
you miss me.
i know you miss me!
ngeh don't deny!
you know you miss me!
no?
...no..you don't?
sigh..
and reality bitch slaps me again
:D
fun
all in good time me friend..all in good time. patience is a virtue
.
.
.
dun hit me..
Am I in denial? That is my biggest fear as denial means you're not okay and one day you'll be really stuffed....when the reality comes flying out and all you can do is crumble..
I need help, someone fix me.
lc.. i think all of us live in some sort of denial warp. even our body helps us to do that by releasing endorphins to lessen pains.
you'll be fine. you've got the circle of trust at the very least *wink*
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