When the going gets not going.
Bragging about resigning from present company to leave for KL on a job-hunting spree was easy enough.
But things are always difficult when it comes to actually doing it.
I need to leave if I want to have a career, if I want to go home at the end of a day tired, but happy.
But the problem is, I'm not all that sure if all that is worth it.
Sometimes I think, personal satisfaction is overrated.
That's when I start backing out of my own plans, even if it is only mental planning.
How could anyone ever leave a home that they love? (even if it is the cause for much anguish)
Every time the thought of leaving for unchartered terrains to build me a life marches by in marquee, soldiers of fear take over and fires bullets of guilt at them.
"What if something happens? What if someone dies while I'm busy being selfish and pursuing my overrated dreams?"
"Most people don't achieve their ambitions anyway, and nobody died from that. Do you really need to do this?"
Honestly?
I don't know anymore.
But things are always difficult when it comes to actually doing it.
I need to leave if I want to have a career, if I want to go home at the end of a day tired, but happy.
But the problem is, I'm not all that sure if all that is worth it.
Sometimes I think, personal satisfaction is overrated.
That's when I start backing out of my own plans, even if it is only mental planning.
How could anyone ever leave a home that they love? (even if it is the cause for much anguish)
Every time the thought of leaving for unchartered terrains to build me a life marches by in marquee, soldiers of fear take over and fires bullets of guilt at them.
"What if something happens? What if someone dies while I'm busy being selfish and pursuing my overrated dreams?"
"Most people don't achieve their ambitions anyway, and nobody died from that. Do you really need to do this?"
Honestly?
I don't know anymore.
posted by Keem at 2:11 PM
:
Let me put it this way.. What you choose is going to affect for years and years to come.. Personal satisfaction is definetly not overrated when you talk about days for many years.. A year has 52 weeks, work weeks roughly 50, which means about 250-300 working days (depending on the job of course). You will have the job fo years. Would you really want to spend thousands of evenings regretting that you never went to try to get a career?
Of course, I'm only a total stranger just browsing around who knows nothing about your work now and yourself.
i'm sure Al can relate the most to you on this one. i would love to tell you that that is pure rubbish and you should just go and do what is good for you. but i know that's not true, and leaving your home in the pursuit of a seemingly brighter future is in fact one of the hardest things you can do.
first you'll miss home like hell, then there's the uncertainty of coming out alive in the new place, let alone triumphantly. gosh i sound like the grinch. but the point is, i think you really have to weigh out your options, which is what you're probably doing anyway. i know what you mean about being 'selfish' and wanting things for yourself. but if the people around you want the best for you, they have to be willing to let you go, or else they'll be the ones who are being 'selfish'. sometimes u have to do what's best for *you*. it is never easy trying to balance between what you want, and what you have to do.
i suggest you talk it through with your family and friends. there's no point in staying in a job that irritates you like hell.
god i'm long winded, so i shall stop now. talk to us ok?
uh.. you can too, have a career and not leave home. just quit this stupid job and look for a better one. one that you'll "blossom" =P and be happy about. who says you can't have the best of both worlds? =D
Ah kim ah... U can just go for a couple of years to try things out, rite?? It's not like u'll be leaving home forever... just a few years away to gain work experience. If anything bad happen ( choi choi choi ), you can take the first flight home.. anytime. And, you can always come home during your leave, rite?
Don't worry too much ler.. ah ma... God will always be there for ya! :)
Oh Oh!! tell you something.. I have a friend here who reads your blog.. She says that you are one great writer! don't waste that yea!
GAM BA TEH EH!
girl, i know EXACTLY how you feel now. especially being here (not in melbourne) i'm like, i can't believe i left my well-paying job (by comparison to these standards) to want to try get a job here.
but see the thing is, we're too young for personal satisfaction to be overrated. if we don't go and explore, and reach the standards we suspect we're capable of, we're doing ourselves a huge injustice. never mind that, if you look at it another way, if you get a higher paying job, you'll be able to help your family out more as well as build on your CV for the future. but sometmes if we don't give it a go, who's to know what we could have been?
and even if we do go run off and chase that star, which by the way, isn't selfish, because everyone in this life has personal goals to achieve, even if we do chase that star and realise it's not what we want in the end, that's ok. we just needed to GO THERE in order to realise and appreciate even more what we had.
ps if anyone tries to tell you you're being selfish, don't listen to them.
if they say "don't go, i'll miss you" then as sweet as it sounds, they haven't got your best interests at heart. love'll let you go because it wants the BEST for you.
what i think? do what makes you happy, take a risk. you're young enough to make mistakes aye? but do consider the consequences before you do anything though. regret and remorse eats at you for a long time.
Personal satisfaction is never over-rated, be happy with less money and less stress is always best, or if a big career is what ticks your bomb, go for it.
BE SELFISH.
to all.. thanks you guys so much you're all so great! i get what u're all are saying and it makes PERFECT sense.. the thing to do now is to convince myself that i CAN do it.
green gnome.. i welcome comments anytime =)
rom.. i believe tht bcos u have full understanding and the ability to be sceptic (grinch), then will u have the ability to recommend something tht balances out on the other side.. am i making any sense?
tried talking to dad btw.. he OBJECTS.
mike... i wished what u said was true, but media jobs in kch .. takde lah.
mic.. i'm thrilled (abt tht friend of urs who reads) - hamik lang lai eh?
alli.. i can't believe i talked to u yesterday! would u think i was being cheesy if i said it was MAGICAL? lol. oh and i know u know how i feel - which is why what u've just said hit home (double whammy). i can't even begin to imagine how hard it mustve been for u to make all those decisions - to quit, to leave etc.
dad doesn't say 'don't go, i'll miss you'.. but i know it's part of the reason why he objects to it - we're just not very good at articulating our emotions.
tania.. thanks so much babe! really needed to talk tht night, and to hear those words - 'i will ask my contacts'. and to think someone said tht u were undependable ages ago - right back at her! go u at 8tv!
chienne.. considering my short-term memory.. perhaps it won't eat at me as long as it would someone else =)
shaolintiger mm.. i'm contented with a simple life (gosh i hate tht band) i think.. i don't need to dine and dress and live fancy. i don't need a big career either - i just want to prove my worth and to be acknowledged for being good at what i think i am good at.
be selfish huh? i think tht's my journey to mordor.
*pins kim to the ground with a glare*
You are an EXCELLENT and QUALIFIED person. There is NO reason why anyone wouldn't hire you, and I will do my darndest to get you hired even if I have to pimp you on the streets.
Don't you DARE have mushy and wussy second thoughts.*cracks whip*
*cowers*
if Emily-Who-Knows-Everything vouches for me - then i MUST be worth a whole damn lot. No worries woman, what I've promised you, I will do - haven't broken any yet, have i? =)
damn, girl, you and al seem to be in the same predicament. you know, i still can't say i can relate to all this abt the working world [although i do "work without pay" in certain aspects but it's not the same is it] but seeing that house-hunting was already as difficult as it was for me, i have a rough idea with the job hunting. i guess to k.i.s.s [keep it short and sweet/simple lah lol], i shall leave you with a quote from today's episode of one tree hill, lol: "make some time. take a few chances".
life is all about throwing yourself out there to places you know nothing about. :)
tania.. damn, i should pay you more compliments =) any news yet?
lil.. which episode is that? i loved the show but stopped watching after i came back to Kch - haven't the time for any tv at all so am only up to mid-season 2. i love the art tht 'Peyton' draws!
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