S is for Something.
Something uncertain.
I think one of the things that pain me the most about being here, is being here.
There've been so many nights when I've woken up from dreaming about happy times with my family back home, that I just start crying and crying and the only thing that stops me is watching an episode of Scrubs.
There are days when I ask myself,
"What the HECK am I doing here?"
And after sitting in moments of silence staring at my own reflection on the blank tv screen, I realise that I don't really know.
I don't know. Can you believe it?
I quit my safe albeit boring job. I packed a suitcase and left 2/3 of my wardrobe behind. I flew here (I hate planes). I'm bunking with my boyfriend in a room-sized oven. I commute in a speeding sardin can.
Life could've been so much easier. So much more air-conditioned.
.
I guess people are just like that.
We trip ourselves up on purpose. We make life difficult for us on purpose. We don't want to be contented. Not entirely.
We want to struggle for no rhyme nor reason. (Some say it's for a better tomorrow. Heh.)
I think I'm just one of those people who does something because something about it, feels right.
I think one of the things that pain me the most about being here, is being here.
There've been so many nights when I've woken up from dreaming about happy times with my family back home, that I just start crying and crying and the only thing that stops me is watching an episode of Scrubs.
There are days when I ask myself,
"What the HECK am I doing here?"
And after sitting in moments of silence staring at my own reflection on the blank tv screen, I realise that I don't really know.
I don't know. Can you believe it?
I quit my safe albeit boring job. I packed a suitcase and left 2/3 of my wardrobe behind. I flew here (I hate planes). I'm bunking with my boyfriend in a room-sized oven. I commute in a speeding sardin can.
Life could've been so much easier. So much more air-conditioned.
.
I guess people are just like that.
We trip ourselves up on purpose. We make life difficult for us on purpose. We don't want to be contented. Not entirely.
We want to struggle for no rhyme nor reason. (Some say it's for a better tomorrow. Heh.)
I think I'm just one of those people who does something because something about it, feels right.
posted by Keem at 5:23 PM
:
Hello Kim~
It’s ok to cry sometimes. But if you have a dream to realize and you know you’re on the right path, then you shouldn’t begin to regret. Persevere persevere and you’ll reap the rewards later. Even if things don’t turn out the way you want, don’t let it bog you down. As long as you keep your dream in sight and never stop advancing forward, you’ll not fail to find success and happiness!! ^_^
I hope you aren’t angry or anything over the fact that I know your blog. Rest assured, its existence is not made known to anyone we know. At least, they don’t hear it from me!! Besides, I can empathize with how you felt. It was kinda refreshing to know I’m not the only one who has issues with them (you know who). And it seems like some folks share similar sentiments as well. We’re just not as lucky as you to have found the way out. Not yet anyway! ~_~
Cheers and good luck~!!
Girl, You are there because you are on a path and sometimes to get to where you want to be, you need to go through 'life-tests'.
I admit, it's sooo hard to let go of the apron-strings, but to fully become what we are meant to be, we need to walk out the door and believe in ourselves. You got the job on your merit and now you will become the writer we all know and adore! Can you send me something with your byline, that be fab dear!!
oh and I know the tears will soon dry, so keep watching Scrubs and hope the homesick resides a bit for ya! *hugz*
antonia.. wasn't angry per se. was just very very very worried and was anticipating a devils wear prada scenario which was why i was defensive on my xanga.
get out of there fast! it's killing you slowly.
lc.. will send article when they're out =) am trying to devise ways to go back for a weekend or something in a coupla months. thanks love for being so understanding =) you rock!
Going, but not that fast as the timing isn’t right. I’ve got plans happening in a year or so. Instead of changing jobs and then quitting again in a year’s time, I’m thinking I might as well bear through the current job till then since I need the dough, unless it gets exceptionally intolerable along the way. Persevere! I’m just hoping I’ll not go insane beforehand. ~_~;; Actually, they aren’t too horrible to deal with.. *coughs* Really they aren’t.. *wheezes* They are just harmless and… *asphyxiates and dies*
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