poser

There's an ad that's been really getting on my nipples recently.

It's the one promoting the show that follows these people with non-conventional jobs around and they talk about themselves or something like that.

Not that I'm opposed to the show or find it offensive in anyway or anything, because I'm sure its lovely.

But there's this one bit of the ad where they play a clip from an episode in which they follow a lady who's a performance artist or something. Again, I have not much of an opinion one way or another about performance arts. They're a little boring and inscrutable to me, but it gets some people's wattles in a wobble, so I guess that's alright.

It's what she (the performance artist) says which really gets my giggleberries in a twist.

In the ad, she says this: "I'm also a rebel in the way that I don't let the norms box me down,"

I seriously cannot, off the top of my rather magnificent and shiny head, think of any statement that oozes more pretension and pomposity out of its slack and gaping orifices.

Let us take a more in-depth look at that statement:

She says the word 'also'. This implies that this statement was made after she had already spent some time regurgitating how she is a rebel to the unfortunate who was sent to interview her. I mean, as I see it, the word 'also' is used when you want to put that last bit of info in. This implies that she REALLY wants people to think that she's a rebel.

Which brings me to the next point. Calling yourself a rebel means you're obviously a poser who spends far too much time thinking about how you look in the eyes of others than actually getting on with things. Seriously, outside of Star Wars, very few people who have actually been rebels have ever called themselves 'rebels' because people who rebel are usually of the opinion that what they are fighting for IS THE WAY THINGS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE. They call themselves Freedom Fighters and Liberators or the Royal Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Ferrets or something like that. They almost never call themselves rebels. Calling yourself one, again, means you really, REALLY want whoever you're talking to believe you're one. "I'm a rebel, you believe me, right? RIGHT?"

And while she's saying the offending statement with an expression that says "I take myself entirely too seriously", they switch over to a clip of her standing with a legs wide apart, slapping some clay out of shape while it spins a turntable.

I probably took it out of context and am being needlessly offensive here. But every time that ad comes on, it bothers me and sends some sort of internal twitch through my digestive tract. You know, the kind of twitch that makes you want to slap people and say "Oi! Stop being a twat, twat." But I'd never do that. Because I'm not a rebel who doesn't let the norms box me down.