Corky Me!

This just spurred a series of creative mental discharges.

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls! Gather 'round now for the most mind-blowing piece of technology since electricity (which by the way, is overrated anyway):

Skip To My Lou, My Darlin'

It would be fun
If I could climb gates once again
Have childish spats once again
Catch tadpoles and put them in a jar
Play cops and thieves
running barefoot
once again.

It would be fun
If I could play with dolls once again
Have pretend parties once again
Where we eat plastic croissants
And daintily sip imaginary tea
with our little finger up
once again.

It would be fun
If I could play pretend
once again.

Not quite stuck...

But not running around naked either.

Sigh.

I can do so much better than this.

Feeling Hawt Hawt Hawt.

Having just eaten his lunch, a man sits back and enjoys a puff while he waits for unlikely customers.

Photos taken at Serikin, Malaysian-Indonesian border on October 16.

I have moved this post to Dugongision.

We Are Only Mammals

It has been awhile since I last wrote a long, depressing and whiny post.

And since it's only 10am and time is seemingly barely crawling by, what better to do ey? =)

Three relationship stuffs on my mind:
#1 The other half
#2 The desolate friend
#3 The sad side of the family

#1 The other half

Non-singledom is.. comforting. Nuff said, I gather.

But then comes the thought of where do these relationships bring us in the end? Some advise that there needs to be no end, and that what matters now is that you are enjoying it, living it.

But how can one invest in something if it does not bear fruit, and with that, how will we know if it will?

#2 The desolate friend

The suicidal and the depressed are aplenty in our circle these days. How do you handle them?

Do you just keep on trying, and trying, and trying..

When do you put your foot down? Do you put your foot down?

Are you selfish if you do?

#3 The sad side of the family

Victim : Male cousin
Age : About 14
Problem : Mother left, father's far from successful. Will be moving out with the father to stay in a rented room.
Experience: Abused by some other uncle during childhood, had to beg authorities not to cut off the water and electricity supply because his father didn't pay the bills.

The family has tried to help, but there is only so much we can do.

Or is it?

-------------

And all this boils down to one thing.

Selfishness.

We are selfish when we say we love but do not whole-heartedly.

We are selfish when we pretend we care, but don't. Not really.

We are selfish, because we are God-created animals;

Every brute for himself,

Holding on to his bone.

Hard At Work. Do Not Disturb.

Hey Y'all! In today's episode of Waste Time At Work, we will waste our time on pondering...

How do they come up with the names for North Atlantic storms like Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Wilma?

Wikipedia.com says:

The lists (six altogether) make use of names from both sexes, and are in alphabetical order. The lists are recycled every six years, with alternating gender.

*Baa Dam Ba CHING*

And there I was wondering why popular (the more violent) hurricane names were mostly female.

Brings to mind the phrase, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, no?

(news excerpt taken from theSun e-paper)

On a different note, did you guys know that mosquitos are more attracted to the colour blue?

I Wanna Go To A Barbie Party!

But I can't.

'Cause I've given away all my dolls.

And I've nothing to wear.

And it's it's in KL.

And I'm 23.

The Pink Fluffy Queen

Achieving The Above Pink Fluffy Queen Look

Ingredients:

• Camera shy girl (1 pax)
• Madman with camera phone (1 pax)
• Hunger (A bag of amos cookies, a tub of strawberry ripple ice-cream, a cracker)
• Silly accessory shop (1 lot)
• Pink fluffy crown accessory (1)
• Large dallops of lurrve (add according to taste)

First, the camera shy girl must be placed hand in hand with the madman with camera phone. Stroll slowly with hands swinging gently.

Eye of camera shy girl is steered to the silly accessory shop, (dart glances every 5 seconds).

Now proceed to make the madman with camera phone to steer the camera shy girl away from the silly accessory shop. Sweaty palms will then induce camera shy girl to let go of swinging hands, and to walk purportedly towards silly accessory shop.

One pink fluffy crown accessory is selected and placed on the camera shy girl. This will cause the madman with camera phone to be excited and make him whip out his camera phone to take a photo.

Leave the pink fluffy queen to cool, and add dallops of lurrve to enable posting of the photo.

Healthy Narcissism

I think, we (the old, the young, the bold and the beautiful) appreciate ourselves too little (well, except for Em).

And that's why when it comes to writing resumes or going for job interviews, it's so hard to make yourself standout like Pamela Anderson's boobies. You just daren't say because it's not what good, modest people do. Malaysian society's culture appraises humility - the assumption that you are always worth less than another person, and that your opinions aren't as much as another's.

That is WRONG. I reckon everyone contributes, somehow. What's lacking is not talent, but appreciation of that talent.

And so, people need to lighten up a bit and see that they are worthy (and not settle for crap pay).

Top 3 Reasons of Why I Am Worthy
#1. I get things done.
#2. I have unlimited ideas.
#3. I listen.

So, what do you reckon are YOUR Top 3 traits?

Slacking when your boss isn't around is no fun

Today was supposed to be a fun day at the office, full of mischievous deeds - like not doing work.

But somehow the fun just flops out the window like a chicken that cannot fly when you have nobody to slack for, and the chicken bounces about in a half-flight, half-jump chicken waltz.

Slacking requires motivation too, you know.

Damn my boss and the entire senior staff. Why'd they have to go out of town this weekend and ruin my slacking?

The Nincompoop Batallion

The problem with growing up, is knowing people.

Why? Because the more friends you make, the more people you find that you are compatible with, the bigger the Idiot Sample Group is.

You put effort in trying to make it work by tolerating their assholic-ness, but after decades of tolerating imbeciles, you turn to your books and computer games (and for some people, their blow up dolls).

Then you give up (see 'hermit') and sink into your cubby hole of self-contentment. These people now pick on the differences between your lifestyle and theirs, and are disgruntled that you're comfortable staying in on a Friday night as opposed to hanging out with the 'in' crowd - getting high on alcohol that they pay for with their credit cards, slurring obscenities.

Don't get me wrong though, I love my vodka and my tequila shots. I love the exhiliration of dancing to good R&B music and being good at it.

But that's not all.

And that's why, you're no good for me.

Es-KL-pade

Hello all,

I'm flying to KL tonight and will be frolicking among the tall ugly buildings, breathing in fresh carbon monoxide from decade-old buses and gorging on copious amount of fast food *chants* burgerking! burgerking!.

Ah! Reliving the good ol' days.

Ah! Traffic jams.

------------

How I know my company wants me.
An sms conversation with the boss' wife.

The wife: U 1 2 go 4 dinner 2Nite @ 6.30pm?

Me: Can't la, flying off to KL tonight for a trip, didn't you know?

The wife: Aiyo...4got u on leave 2day. Hey, congrats! Getting ur official degree on paper rite? When wil u b back?

Me: Thanks! On leave on Mon not today la. Flying back Mon night.

The wife: Hav a pleasant flight. Eh heard u go 2 kl 4 interview hia haha...

Me: Thanks. Aiyo no lah. U guys think too much. Will be sticking around for a while don't worry.

The wife: Gud la! This co has no office politics compared 2 others. Hope u'll hav a wonderful & comfy journey with us. U muz know we treat our staff like fam & frens :)

(I didn't reply to this sms)

The wife again: 4give me 4 being so long-winded. Cant blame me explaining esp after dealing with those **** kids haha! But they come & go, so dun bother bout their attitude :P

Me: I know, tht's why i'm going to KL. Retail therapy!

The wife: We go 4 drinks a couple of wks fr now. Cos -boss' name- and i won't be here oso next weekend.

Me: Sure, see you around then.

# # #

You guys reckon I'm in the position to negotiate with them?