Confirm.

This morning, I was chastised by an editor for my lack of journalistic instincts.

The thing is, I agree with him.

Directions please.

"Those who get lost on the way to school, will never find their way through life."
-German Proverb

I got lost between toilet and classroom when I was 7, and carried a campus map with me throughout college.

Shit.

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My tragic love story would sound like this.

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I haven't been honest with myself for a long time and it feels, at times, that I've never been at all.

I read one heck of a kisah benar (true story) here and there and I get it into my head that I need to write like that, let my inner cow just graze and chew and moo and spit and chew and spit (do cows spit?) but it doesn't happen because, well, I've lost my cow.

Ladies and gentlemens, I don't know where I am.

And this is frustrating because in order for you to estimate how far you've come along (in order to give yourself a pat on the back occasionally), you need two variables for comparison. You've got to remember things, events, milestones, achievements (and their opposites) in order to grade yourself.

Like if you've not been home for a long time, and you've got a 10 hour flight planned and you've been on the plane for, say, 5 hours, you can tell yourself "I'm halfway there".

But this feels like 6 years ago and I am still 19 and still trying to figure things out, which I know is a vicious cycle.

So I do all the things successful people must do: work hard, work smart, be professional, make contacts, learn, control temper, be a people person, control temper, listen, be a self-starter, go-getter and all those chirpy positive things.

And after all that, where am I now?

Still figuring things out.

Itsy/ Shanghai Pt.1

Not to sound unappreciative and whiny, but sometimes I wish I was insignificant.

Feeling like you're responsible for a hundred million things probably isn't the most motivational of thoughts to get you up in the morning.

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I don't know about you guys, but I can't wait for Google Sky.

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Whilst I was there, it was 38 degrees in Pudong, Shanghai.
(Was so hot that after an hour out walking, a burning smell came from my HAIR.)

And people bring umbrellas everywhere.
(Most of the time it's for the sun, but occasionally, I heard, they use it to block the entrance to door-less toilet stalls while they are peeing)

And most of the signs were in Mandarin.
(Granted I read Mandarin, but I've got a problem: when there's like a whole page, my brain just shuts down)




It might as well be in Japanese.

Even the menu behind the counter at McD's was in Mandarin.
(All of us just bought mineral water from McD)

"Lady! Lady! COME IN! CHEAP THINGS!"
*While being nudged/ tugged into the store by my sleeve*
(I have never been called a lady so aggressively)


And this place is the reason why I will never bargain again.

(A lady (hehe) BLOCKED my way out of her store when I wanted to leave because she wanted to charge me RM20 for a horribly cheap looking shirt. I ended up buying it)

Gratitude

So, like, Kim and I just totally hit the 2 year mark in our relationship this last Thursday and we celebrated with a small dinner and even though we agreed not to this year, we gave each other gifts.

Now, Kim was feeling kinda bad because I got her a few (honestly relatively inexpensive) presents, instead of the usual one (I came into some extra cash this month) while she 'only' got me one (super awesome robot figure that I have been wanting for a while now) because she's a little short on cash, what with going to Shanghai recently and extra expenditure here and there.

Which is patently ridiculous, because she has no cause AT ALL to be upset about ANYTHING. I mean, honestly, aside from the super cheesy, but true, fact that my life has been made infinitely better in a googleplex of ways since she stomped her dainty little feet into it, she's been super-duper-ultra-awesomely supportive of my blatant, stomach-churning geekery. More so than any man ever deserves to even dream of. This year alone she has:

1)Procured premiere-night tickets for Transformers (by some nefarious means involving batting her eyelashes, no doubt) AND accompanied me to the show even though she had no such interest of doing so.

2) Scoured all of the Toys 'R Us stores in KL for a Titanium War Within Optimus Prime for me, when it was all sold out. And she got one. Possibly by beating some poor sales clerk with her tiny, furious fists. And at retail price. The bastard thing is now selling for about three times that amount in the stores.

3)Insisted on paying for half of the latest Neil Gaiman trade paperback

4)Bought the 50th anniversary collection of Godzilla DVDs for me when I was sick. That's right. My woman went out, on foot, and paid cash for a collection of DVDs containing about a total of 15 hours of footage of men in rubber monster suits flailing at one another ineffectually TO CHEER ME THE FUCK UP (and it did. Immensely)

And this is just a mere (and an extremely mere) fraction of the stuff that she has done for me. Late nights spent talking about nonsense, following me around when I go look at toy stores, looking out for stuff that I might like when she heads out, and oh mein Gott, she cooks for me. Vegetable curry (I lurve veggy curry, with a capital everything), corned beef and onions(ditto), spaghetti carbonara (ditto times about 2.5 million) and slap my beef and call me sassy if she doesn't come home with snacks every so often, because she tried them and they were awesome and she bought extra for me. Plus she puts up with my daily occurrences of incredible stupidity.

And on top of ALL this, I get an awesome robot on our 2nd anniversary.

Darling love of mine, I seriously, SERIOUSLY doubt that I got the short end of the stick this time. A pair of shoes and a few small pieces of jewelery don't really come close to everything that you've done.

LURRRRRVVE. >sloppy kiss with extra slop<


ps: Also, she plays videogames with me. Which, judging by what other people tell me, is an almost mythical trait in women of this region. SO IN YOUR FACE ALL OF THE REST OF YOU, BECAUSE MY GIRLFRIEND IS MORE AWESOMER THAN YOURS. THAT'S RIGHT MORE AWESOMER!!!!!

Alli Tag

When I grow up I want to be a....

Jail food dispensing person
This is Chow Yun Fatt’s fault. I watched Prison on Fire when I was really little and fights would break out in the midst of dispensing oranges (I don‘t know why I like this). This and Oliver Twist had me write a script for a prison play which was acted out with plastic fruit by my neighbourhood friends and myself when I was 8.

“Please sir, may I have some more?”

Fight ensues, oranges are hurled and ’prisoners’ are wacked with batons.


Work on the Doulos
I like to read, and I want to travel - two birds with one stone! AND, for free!

(This dream however only lasted til last year when I was given a tour of the ship and learnt that shipmates have to clean and cook and do laundry too).


Video tape rental shop owner
Yes, ambition at its prime. I figured that if I owned the shop, I wouldn't have to pay for any rental fees.


Gourmet cake shop cum bookshop owner
Because my idea of happiness is sitting on a beanie, eat pretty cakes, drink hot cocoa while buried in a book.


Dancer
Because I can’t.


Ally McBeal or Lorelai Gilmore
Big personalities with amazing intellect and can talk really fast. I believe that I lack in all those aspects, which is why I aspire. Plus, they get really manly men.


Female Poet
Like Virginia Woolf, or Christina Rosetti whose prose I admire and cannot memorise. I love the whole tragicness of being one; the loneliness which some female poets feel, which of course drives them to madness and suicide, but if I was capable of understanding and seeing like they did, I think I wouldn’t mind dying so bad.


Psychologist
I used to like to listen, to the extent where I told myself I don’t need life experiences because I was already getting them over a cup of tea. So I decided that I would exploit my friends, and get them to pay to talk to me.

Unfortunately, no market for psychologists in Malaysia (and I don’t like Chemistry).


Copywriter
My vocabulary is limited and I believe this will help me in becoming an amazing copywriter. After all, good copy is about saying the most with the least.

That, and because my team’s ad design and copy (which I came up with) took second place in our journalism copywriting class (first place got first place because I did their copy).


Freelance Writer
I don't know why, but it's about one of the few things I can picture myself really doing (as opposed to dispensing oranges in jail).

Aku tak faham

I cannot add people on Friendster or MSN or whatever's 'in' these days onto my contact list when they don't bother to tell you who they are, don't let you see their profile and use an unrecognisable username.

Pisses me off.

What if you're some psychostalkerrapist?

I DELETE YOU.



Edit: Also, I hate people who promise that they'll reply your email after you've called them a thousand times and emailed them two thousand times.

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GIVE A COMMENT, SAY SO. I DON'T NEED YOU. DON'T STRING ME ALONG AND MAKE ME WAIT AND WASTE MY TIME.

Unkempt woman's Vitruvian man

And some days, I feel like this.

From this blog.

What I Really Think About...

Seeing as how I have the priviledge of trying out new phones every two weeks but have to lie about them or censor myself when I do my reviews, I will be posting, from time to time, what they're really like.

I know. I'm so geek.

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Nokia N76

On the outside
First words that come to mind is PIMP PHONE. It doesn't matter which colour it's in (available in red and black), it's PIMP.

The phone's looks also seem to be duplicated from Motorola's Razr: the metallic-ness of it all as well as the slim theme.


The external display doubles as mirror which serves the purpose of, well, being a mirror. No kidding. It was actually one of the 'selling points' they used at the phone's launch. Clean freak's nightmare from hell, this phone's casing is a fingerprint magnet.

It is also too wide -- and I'm not saying this because my hands are below average size. Moobs has tried it and it's difficult for him to hold it and not risk spraining his wrist.

Also, don't get why there's barrier-like rim thing at the bottom of the keypad.

Saving grace: I like the instant play buttons and the external screen that allows you to control your music, read your smses and when you wanna take photos: it's your view finder! I was quite charmed by this.

Keypad's pretty okay too, though you've got to be able to get to it first -- you'll need both hands to pry this one open.



On the inside
Sad to say, I've not had much time to play around with it and when I wanted to, it went bonkers and is now refusing to boot up. Ah, well.

It's using the Symbian OS that Nokia smartphones are using these days. The interface is pretty pretty and pretty easy to use (but I've been a Nokia user my entire life so don't take my word for it). Comes with cool 3D snake game.

The music player is okay, but I still prefer the one on Sagem that uses a folder system where you can just check or uncheck what you want or don't want on your playlist. Nokia doesn't let you do that.



Camera's pretty good as well: 2MP with lots of choices in terms of resolution, quality and modes. Even has a self-timer and flash.

As for the contact list -- I don't know if it's just me -- but I can't find a way to copy your sim card contacts to your phone all in one shot. You've gotta do it one by one and I've got over 200 numbers on my sim.

Major experience killer.


Who should buy: People who like bling.
Who shouldn't: Hygiene freaks.

Poopified

Relationships are based on trust.

*Moobs rushes into the room with something hidden in his hand.*

Moobs: Open your mouth and close your eyes and you will get a big surprise.

*Muffled wails*

Moobs: Come on, don't you trust me?

*Shakes head vigorously*

*Moobs proceeds to pry my hands away from my mouth and stuff something between my lips*

*Spits it out*..

Me: Oh.. it's an M&M.

*Moobs looks downtrodden.*


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Am back from Shanghai and I don't think I want to go back there, voluntarily, on a holiday.

Chinese people scare me.


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Was so drained when I got home last night, what with not sleeping much throughout the flight there and back, and all events, activities and the weather.

I passed out after unpacking (well, I unlocked my suitcase to take out my toothbrush).

Moobs is feeling rather betrayed right now because when he tried to wake me in the middle of the night to get some loving because he had had a nightmare: I took his hand, patted it a few times, chucked it aside, turned over and went back to sleep.

:D


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Linh-Chi: Pix coming soon!

Alli: Eh kiddo, your boss should get you a blackberry what with all the texting you do. Also, loved the Starbucks/Discovery-bunny-clubbing session with you (I was honestly gonna cry I love bunnies) - sorry you were so bogged down with work and disease. (?)

this is awesome

A gentlemen's duel
Uploaded by nettouch

Fifi says she can smell the fear...>yip!<...in your pants.